This week’s instalment of #ParentingWin vs #ParentingFail features the lovely Lucy from Me Being Mummy. Lucy blogs about all things make-up, beauty and hair, whilst also being a hair stylist and mummy to two lively little boys. I love Lucy’s honest approach to the not so perfect side of motherhood, which she shares openly in a way that leaves no doubt that her boys are her world.
If you’re new to my blog and series, this is my weekly feature where I ask moms to share with us their most memorable Parenting Win, which celebrates even the tiniest little victory which may seem small to the outside world but in reality it is huge to her. The flip side is the Parenting Fail story where we are able to share one of our lowest parenting moments, these can be awful (you should read mine!) or a hilariously bad situation which you’re sharing, either way, this is a non-judgemental space where the aim is to make us all realise that there is no such thing as a “Perfect Parent”.
On to Lucy’s stories …
Life is about balance. With every up there is a down. Every good there is a bad. And for every win there is a fail. So when the lovely Carly over at MomOfTwoLittleGirls offered for me to take part in her fun series: Parenting Win vs Parenting Fail, I thought it was a perfect way of addressing different sides of the parenthood coin. After all, it’s always good to reflect on a Win for its positive affirmation that one is doing a (fairly) adequate job at bringing up a human. Just as reflecting on a fail is an informative way to point out that we are not perfect and make mistakes in order to (hopefully) learn from them. So I have had a good think back over my approximate 2 years 9 months 11 weeks of parenting and picked out my two choices, keep reading to find out what they are….
#ParentingWin: Fun Mum
This one is only recent but I had to share it because, for me, it stands out as a massive personal achievement. I know it sounds so strange to say, but I am someone who really struggles to have fun. I was not ‘The Fun Mum’. You see them, these mums that bounce about like springer spaniels at the park or soft play with their kids, or who hop from one task to another with ease, thinking up genius ways to occupy their young one’s minds and managing to make even the most simplest of things FUN! They roll up their sleeves and get stuck in with activities and games and just don’t give a damn. For a long time, I really envied these mums and wondered how they could get into that mindset and have so much energy. I was always worried and anxious… about everything. Whether it was a health and safety risk, or that something would involve too much mess or noise or even that other people would be watching, thinking I was acting like a complete idiot and wondering what the eff was going on?!
Then; something changed. I got my anxiety under control, realised that I am a champion procrastinator and just decided to throw myself in without over thinking things or giving a hoot about what other’s thought of me too. And as soon as I did, remarkable things started to happen. I gained more energy, I began really enjoying myself and I realised I still have an imagination.
Rather than worrying about and prioritising clearing up mess, I realised that you have to break eggs to make an omelette and that it is all superfluous. I literally stood in my kitchen one morning and thought, I can either spend my time cleaning up a mess that will be recreated in an hour or I can just grab the kids, get the hell out and go to the park and have FUN!
I am now a springer spaniel. I go on all the climbing frames at the park. I whizz down the slide and I zoom round in circles on the roundabout. I jump into the paddling pool and play as opposed to sitting and observing from a garden chair. I make dens and build towers, blow bubbles and create masterpieces with finger paints! I have fun and therefore, so do my children. We laugh more, we play more and we share more. We are silly together. I am a fun mum. And for that, I really feel like I am winning, not just as a parent but as a human being too.
Parenting fail: Buggy Fail
This stands out in my head as the funniest memory of myself and my other half’s journey through parenthood so far. It was a couple of weeks after our eldest was born. We had done the whole nesting thing after coming home from hospital. You know, when you get back, panic that you suddenly have a real live baby person to be responsible for and you find yourself lunging from one day to the next grabbing sleep, a shower and some food wherever and whenever you can whilst well wishers come round and meet your new addition.
Bored of the four walls and with an errand to run, we decided to go for our first ‘outing’ to the shops. We loaded the car with everything we thought we needed (years later I now realise we packed everything bar the kitchen sink!), we drove to the shops and parked up. As we got the buggy out of the boot, we suddenly realised that we had absolutely no clue on how it went together, how it was meant to unfold into its usable position or even how we were meant to click the car seat onto the frame. We’d been given ‘adaptors’ but the only adaptor we had known were the electrical kind so we were looking for somewhere to ‘plug them in’ (I cringe and giggle about this even now, how stupid?!) and it took around 45 minutes for us to get everything set up and functioning. As it was finally ready, I was giggling so hard from nerves, relief and sleep deprived hysteria that my pelvic floor nearly failed me and the only way to stem any accidents was to sit in the open boot of the car very quickly which made me fall back with my legs up in the air! At that precise moment, our new baby woke up demanding to be fed and changed so we then decided to abandon ship and just go back to the four walls. They no longer seemed smothering and had become a much less stressful alternative by then. As my other half packed everything back in the car and I jiggled a disgruntled newborn, I turned around to see that we were actually parked directly opposite a restaurant full of diners who had sat and witnessed the whole circus. I have never got into a car as quickly as I did in that moment. Talk about mortified!
And there you have it. My parenting win vs parenting fail moments. I hope you enjoyed them!”
Oh my word. I am definitely not a fun mummy. I love this one. It reminds us all that we need to let go a little. Just a little, or a lot. They (the kids) really don’t ask that much of us. Great win!
And the Fail!!!! I’d have been mortified. I had a similar experience trying to pack the car to drive my 3 day old baby to the hospital for a blood test. Oh the pressure! Fortunately in my case no one was watching, but my mom was there, and she got some really mortifying photos as evidence! On the bright side – look how far we’ve come!
Thanks so much Lucy.
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