kids, motherhood, Parenting, SAHM, south africa, Stay-at-home-mom, Uncategorized

Top 5 offensive things to say to my daughters, and the results:

These are the top 5 things I say that cause crying, tantrums, revolt and consumption of wine in my house on a daily basis!

1. “Get your shoes on, let’s go.”

  •  There are no suitable shoes in the house, no matter what the function/reason for leaving the house may be, none of the 10 pairs of shoes available are suitable.
  • This is highly offensive and the appropriate reaction is a full blown meltdown tantrum

2. “Turn the iPad off, it’s time for dinner.”

  • Dinner will be “disgusting”
  • Appropriate response is a full blown tantrum!

3. “It’s bath time.”

  • The water is too hot for one, too cold for the other. Tough … mom makes them get in together and ends up drenched and shouting = no one wins!
  • It’s actually NOT bath time. Give up and try again in 15 minutes!

4. “What do you want for breakfast?”

  • My personal favourite: “Whatever you want mommy … but not that, or that, or that.”
  • Oreos.

5. “Get in the car.”

  • “Me first!” “No, me first!” “Get out my way”. “Both of you be quiet and get in the car now or I’m leaving without you! I’m leaving without you!”
  • Everyone is crying, radio is unecessarily loud to drown out crying. This is unsuccessful. Turn off radio. Everyone is excited to see the school gates whilst sobbing!
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