Note: I might actually be broken.
Yesterday I achieved a higher level of achievement of Domestic Engineer than I ever thought was possible.
FYI: Domestic Engineer – the stay-at-home-parent who is mostly responsible for house, kids and chores.
In addition to a morning of running a number of errands around town, after collecting the children from school we spent the afternoon at home. Between 12.30 and 15.45 I achieved the following:
- Completed the DIY apron I had cut out the night before. (see fabric under muffins in featured image)
- Baked the most delicious banana muffins EVER! Note: there are none left. I found the recipe on Pinterest and have to share it with you all. It was delicious! My Mommy Style Banana Muffins . And they really were perfect, even with the ‘help’ of my two little assistants!
- I also cooked a roast beef, with rice, prepped the veggies and even did all the washing up! (Surely that’s 5 bonus points right there?)
After that I took the girls to their swimming lessons at the gym. Came home at 17.20 to be met by my husband’s friend who was staying over but had arrived an hour early, and our neighbour who had just returned home from a two month vacation. Picture the scene:
- Kids climbing in the building sand belonging to the body-corporate of the estate (even though we have been asked in writing NOT to let the children play in it – really!);
- the neighbour’s dogs were running around yapping attempting to escape their leashes;
- my dog-hating cats were attempting to kill the dogs using spit&hiss and mock-charge tactics;
- the neighbour and friend (previously strangers) were conversing in Afrikaans while I stand there and nod politely not having a clue what they’re saying, while simultaneously attempting to rescue the neighbour’s dogs from the deadly cats and politely discipline my unruly children who had suddenly gone deaf and were quite frankly abusing the fact that they knew I wouldn’t unleash the full force of mommy’s fury on them in front of the neighbour and friend and therefore they were ‘safe’! (Little sh*ts!)
Needless to say I furiously texted my husband to demand he gets home in the next five minutes OR ELSE! Luckily for him, he did!
(I’m not really sure what ‘Or Else’ looks like, but fortunately neither of us have had to follow through! )
After my husband arrived home, I grabbed the girls with a deadly mommy arm grip that they recognised and therefore there was no need for any words (Picture above!), frog marched them inside and plonked them in front of the TV (don’t judge me). I then proceeded to butcher the devine piece of meat I’d cooked to perfection hours earlier. Butcher is the only term I can use because whilst I can cook a roast, I always fail at carving it correctly! The girls ate their dinner watching TV. The men tinkered with their motorbikes and I was left sipping water!
WATER!!! Why? you ask … because we were waiting for the nurse to come round to take blood samples for our new Life Insurance policy so that meant I had to wait until after that before I calmed my stress level with wine!
AND THEN … whilst I was being attended to by the nurse, the children were left running riot while the men had a beer and talked men-stuff about their motorbikes!!!!
At this point my ability to be polite had vanished and I yelled like a banshee for my husband to sort the kids out all while being hooked up to the blood pressure machine only to have it read 90/50!! I sh*t you Not! It was LOW! Too Low!
How is that possible when my stress level was off the scale? How?
She then proceeded to attempt to draw blood and as usual my veins decided to do a run & hide game and she (a registered nurse with at least 35 years experience) was unable to find the veins, on BOTH arms. I am now sporting a lovely purple lump on one arm, and I have to go try again today! FML! She did the BP test again after all that and it was 90/60 so at least it looks good on paper. Husband did his test and all was clear and perfect in less than five minutes.
So we now how concrete evidence that going out to work is a lot healthier than staying home with the kids and keeping house!
The nurse left, the kids went to bed, I fed the men my less than perfect roast by that time (20.30). The men then packed up their motorbikes ready for their four day bike tour WITHOUT ME and at that point I decided to give up on life and proceeded to drown my misery in wine! Kidding I only had one glass, BECAUSE IT WAS FINISHED!
Apart from the fact that I have to go and try give blood again today, I’m really praying I have a better/less stressful day today.
Check out my grocery list for the day: WINE, Cupcakes, Bread. ‘Nuff said!
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