Glitter is banned in my house.
Glitter was invented by someone who hates moms.
Glitter can be used once in my house and despite my best efforts I will inevitably end up with a fleck of glitter on my eyelid three months later on my way to a funeral.
Gifts of glitter to my daughters are regifted!
I don’t buy cards with glitter on them.
I don’t buy glittery make-up!
I don’t buy glittery crafts.
Despite all these precautions, Tuesday happened!
Tuesday was the last day of school and my daughters brought home their ‘work’ from the past term. Since it was the term before Christmas there were a number of glittery projects that were brought into my kitchen. Since I’m not that mean a mom I dutifully inspected each piece of ‘work’ while receiving a detailed explanation of what a handprint is or ‘that’s a square, that’s a circle’ all the while cursing under my breath about all the f*!king glitter! And of course daddy had to inspect it all again later, in the bedroom(!) and so there was glitter in there too.
Today in Thursday.
Despite the cleaner and myself cleaning the house three times since Tuesday evening there is still glitter throughout my house! On the kitchen floor, in the bed, on the bath towels, in the kids hair. Everywhere!
I’m sure that on some (deep, dark) level their teachers get a thrill from some kind of payback knowing that the parents will experience a small measure of the pain that they live with on a daily basis.
Pardon me while I drown my frustration in this glass of wine – which is glitter free thank goodness! Cheers!