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The Day I Said “Yes!” 

Tuesday was not a good day. It felt like all I did was roll my eyes, tut and eventually yell at my kids. I have many reasons as to why, but in the spirit of positivity I won’t dwell on them.

I woke up yesterday and decided that I need to make it up to my girls. Yes, the ‘mom-guilts’ were dragging me down in full force. 

I decided that for one day, no matter how hard it was, I was going to try my hardest not to say “No”. Instead I will attempt to respond to all their little requests, demands and orders (deep breaths), with kindness and positivity, even if the answer is in fact “no”.

It started off a little rough.

“Mommy, can I have 5 Oreos?”

Instead of saying “No”, my reply was, “I think two is enough, don’t you?”

Their response was acceptance. Clearly they were just pushing their luck.

Then there was the usual ‘outfit-of-the-day’ challenge. The plan was to take them to the nursery to play on the kids play area while I do a bit of blogging and have a cappuccino and soak up some fresh air and warm African sunshine. The youngest wanted to wear a party dress. Instead of saying “No, that’s impractical.” I explained that she wouldn’t be able to climb to the top of the jungle-gym/climbing frame, or slide down the slide if she wore a dress because then all the boys would see her knickers. She stared at me, blinked then chose a pair of tights! Whatever works right?

When we got there and we were ordering I asked them if they wouldn’t please share a toasted sandwich instead of a whole one each. They revolted. So I decided to get them one each. Normally I’d have said “No,” because I knew they wouldn’t eat it all. Me saying no would only have resulted in some kind of scene or tantrum, and I quite frankly was not up for that. As I predicted they didn’t eat any of it so we brought it home as take-away. In my head I apeased the control freak side of me by telling myself that at least I won’t have to cook or prepare lunch and quite possibly even dinner! Win, win! Apart from the empty pocket!

I let them play for a couple of hours. I did some blogging and Instagramming.

Eventually it was nearing the lunch rush and I decided to stop hogging the large table I’d commandeered and I went to sit on the bench and just watch them play. Eventually they tired and came to sit by me. When I asked if they were ready to go home, they said yes.

It was so strange. I’m so used to arguing and cajoling for almost every request.

It was so refreshing to have them just be ready.

We went home after that and the day progressed well. I let them swim when they asked. I let them play in the garden. I let them watch whatever they wanted on TV. I cooked them a dinner I knew they would love – roasted chicken pieces with rice and gravy.

In the evening they watched a little more TV and when it was bed time, they just went to bed, although they’ve always been really good at bedtime.

Although I’d love to take all the glory for what was a really good day, I don’t believe it was all down to my answering their requests positively. I think a good portion of it was not rushing them. I read a really great post by a fellow mom blogger Jaki Jellz  – Why Am I Always In Such A Rush It’s well worth a read if you relate to any of what I am talking about. It really does get you thinking.

It’s the holidays now, so on most days there is no routine, no rush, no “hurry up”, “get in the car”, “get out the car”, “hurry up and eat”. During term time, some days are so busy, here there and everywhere that I feel like I’m either pushing them along, or dragging them along. I’m certainly not a perfect mom. I get stressed and I know that when I am stressed I yell. When I yell, they yell, or worse … they balk at every request I make of them.

Whilst I’m not claiming to have reinvented the wheel or had some kind of epiphany, I am going to make more of an effort to maintain this sense of relaxed calm, and use this holiday time together before school starts to recharge all our batteries.


Diary of an imperfect mum
Twin Mummy and Daddy
Naptime Natter

The Tale of Mummyhood
Mummy Times Two
Rhyming with Wine

http://mrsmummyharris.co.uk/

Tammymum

58 thoughts on “The Day I Said “Yes!” ”

  1. I love this. I try to limit how often I say no although I say no without saying no quite a lot. My little girl is usually fine if she understands why she can’t do something but hates a no with no reasin and will let you know about it! #PostsFromTheHeart

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I often forget to explain why it’s a no, and I forget that it’s really necessary. Imagine if we were told no all the time without any context – cue frustration!

      Like

  2. I love this and I think we should all have a day like this once in a while. I’m not sure it would work long term in our house, with four children I need to say no quite often, but just staying calm and going with the flow is so important in this busy world we live. #postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think it’s realistic even 355
      Days a year, but a useful way of recharging batteries when necessary!

      Like

  3. I’m going to give this a try and see if it makes a difference. My 3 year old is so whiney at the moment and it sometimes feels like everything is a battle. I know I should give him more time to do things too, but it’s hard, we have to be places!!! I think my husband would find this really hard though. I’m really interested to see the results #postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sometimes giving in and just letting them get their own way can actually make life so much easier! especially when it is a day where the last thing that you can handle is a screaming kid! Im think im quite strict with Ben, but even I let him get away with things when Im just not feeling it!
    Thank you for linking up again with #TriumphantTales, I hope to see you on Tuesday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I actually love those days. They usually happen when I’m feeling useless and demotivated and the only way to protect them from that ME is to let them get away with almost everything!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I really love this idea. I too and very guilty of rushing mine, especially my eldest. This week I am going to follow your example and have a ‘yes’ day. In fact I’m already looking forward to do so. Thank you so much for sharing such a lovely idea with us at #PostsFromTheHeart

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m going to give this a go as I too am getting bogged down with the mum guilt.
    A lot of the time I think we just quickly snap ‘no’ instead of taking the time to listen which then causes frustration, on both sides x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It sounds like you had a brilliant day and I think you hit the nail on the head – it’s the rushing and the pressure that we put ourselves under to get things done and get to places by a certain time. The small people just have no sense of urgency and if we can allow them to take the reins sometimes it can actually make for quite a smooth ride. I loved Jaki’s post too. Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This was a really interesting read as I always feel I am bargaining/arguing and pleasing with mine to do as I ask. It’s exhausting and frustrating. I will try and take a leaf out of your book, positivity and slowing down. I read Jakis post too and totally feel the same. Goood luck with your approach and thanks for joining us at #familyfun x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. It’s certainly not something I can keep up all the time, but for one day here and there where there are no other restrictions it’s great for ‘rebooting’ the system.

      Like

  9. I know that rushed feeling so well – I read Jaki’s post too and it really struck a chord with me. It’s really interesting to hear the difference that it made for you – I feel like I’m always nagging my son, so I’m going to try a day of taking a more laid back approach and see how we do! #FamilyFun

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s not a realistic approach every single day, sometimes you actually have to get somewhere by a certain time, like school, so there’s no way you can let them operate at their own speed, but it’s good for rebooting the system.

      Like

  10. #postsfromtheheart #dreamteam love this, i think sometimes us parents need to check whats important and in the grand scheme of things is 5 Oreo’s the end of the world (probably if you’re a dentist) perspective plays a huge part and I’m glad you were able to rebalance yours for a much improved day for all 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. That is very interesting, I remember seeing a programme a while back which said humans respond more to a positive comment rather than a negative one. So if you can spin something into the positive you can end up getting the result you want and a child that feels happy and like they contributed to the decision. I am a big believer in positive thought, I think in the future the way we think will become the biggest discovery yet (i bore all my friends with my theories). I might try and have a YES day and see what happens xx Nicky #Blogstravaganza

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I certainly don’t think I can live a “Yes” life, but it doesn’t hurt to remember some of it when you’re having a tough time.
      Thanks for reading. Love your comments.

      Like

  12. Ah its always great when things go smoothly, made me realise how often I say no and maybe I need to put it a more positive way!
    I’m glad it went well for you!!
    #PostsFromTheHeart

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You need to do it on days when you have the luxury of time. School run is maybe not the best time to try it out.

      Like

  13. I love this, it’s so true! I always find we have a better day when I take the time to explain a situation rather than just saying ‘no’. Sometimes it’s easier said than done though! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sounds like you have sorted the kids out I think I need to apply your secret fab post Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    Liked by 1 person

  15. A really lovely post – a gentle reminder for all us mums to sometimes just let it be…
    The day just goes so much better when we are more responsive rather than reactive, as you put it, and when there is less yelling and tantrums. Great mom win there!
    #BlogCrush

    Liked by 1 person

  16. At first I was bit unsure reading this, thinking you were maybe planning on saying yes to everything they asked, but obviously that’s not the case! I try also, like you, to say no without actually saying no, and also I ask questions like “will 2 spoons of breakfast keep you full until lunch?” and usually letting them come to their own decision makes for less tantrums, and they have no one to blame or yell at if their decision winds up being the wrong one! I agree that this is much easier when you’re not in a rush, and I’m also just as guilty of resorting to raising my voice. Great post, and I’m glad you had such a good day. #Blogstravaganza

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Wow, this sounds like a great day and that trying to say yes more makes for a much happier mummy and kids! I will try to say yes more tomorrow as I do feel like I say no too much sometimes but some if my 3 year olds requests are just ridiculous. Thanks for linking to #BlogCrush xx

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Sounds like a successful day! You’re completely right that our own attitude rubs up on our kids. So the fact you were feeling calmer about it all will have certainly contributed to the wonder of the day. Of course it doesn’t always result in happy and calm children but from trying it myself I’m confident it stops things turning into a complete tantrum-fest on the bad days! Hope you can repeat your success xx #BlogCrush

    Liked by 1 person

  19. High five for this mom win!! 😀
    Us moms do say no a lot, don’t we? I love reminders like this to just breathe and take a second to respond a little differently (like you did with the Oreos – it was still no to five of them, but without being big bad NO mommy). #BlogCrush

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know I won’t get the luxury of this when school starts. Yesterday it took my 3 yr old 25 minutes to ‘wash up’ 3 plastic bowls. Her choice. I was out of my mind by the time she was done but she had fun. lol

      Liked by 1 person

  20. First up – thanks a million for linking my post – so kind and I’m flattered. And I totally get what you mean. I’ve had a week with a poorly little one and in all honesty, when he’s that down inthe dumps, I get a little soft. I have said ‘yes’ to him so much more. I have been much more relaxed with him and guess what? Hardly any tantrums. I think we stress too much about the little things and maybe forget that they’re just kids at the end of the day. So young with a lot to learn. I think I’ll cut him some slack more often. Thanks again 😘 #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

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