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A Catalogue Of Weekend Injuries

We had quite the weekend here in our house: A black eye, plate smashing, broken furniture. Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. 

This is a list of the injuries and breakages suffered (mostly) at the hands of my children mostly.

1. The least serious of all, but maybe most expensive on the list: the bathroom cupboard has been ripped off ONE of it’s hinges. Whilst I have tried to deny it, my husband is right, it can only have occurred due to the children hanging on it despite both of us yelling at them countless times NOT to do it. Why?

2. I have a black eye. This happened courtesy of my eldest. Whilst helping her dress, she was bending forward straightening her tights, so I lent forward to help her, and at the same moment she stood up straight. Her (very hard) head connected with my eye socket and voila … black eye!

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3. Saturday morning both children developed diarrhoea which I can only blame on the sushi we splashed out on for them on Friday evening. This only presented itself whilst we were shopping in one of the local home DIY stores. It didn’t last more than 12 hours thank goodness. Either the ‘bug’ passed, or I blocked them up with Imodium so much that they may never ‘go’ again.

4. We went out on Saturday evening to a well known Fish & Seafood restaurant chain in town. I felt in control of the situation referred to above, and was armed with extra changes of clothing, loo rolls, and I made sure we were seated with a clear path to the toilets. I also took along back-up entertainment for them as this is one of the few places we go that doesn’t have a children’s play area. The restaurant decided to put on a plate smashing and Greek dancing event to entertain the customers. This was very exciting for the children who had never seen anything like it! At one point the waiting staff decided to smash the plates on each other’s heads á la Tom & Jerry cartoon style. My eldest (again) thought this was a great idea and promptly attempted to smash an already broken piece of plate on my youngest’s head! (You can’t make this sh*t up!) Cue a crying 3 year old with a bleeding head wound (thank goodness nothing serious) and a crying 5 year old wracked with guilt. We went home shortly after. To be fair we’d been there for about two hours by this stage and mommy had already had too much wine and not enough bread so it was probably time to go anyway.

5. The eldest (yes … again) decided to cut her own nails – I still don’t know where she found a pair of nail clippers because I usually keep them suspended from the ceiling. As I have predicted and warned against on many occasions, she cut her thumb nail so short it started bleeding. I have no sympathy.

6. My husband and I both had terrible hangovers on Sunday. Whilst I recognise that this is self-inflicted, I now realise that I am no longer 21 and able to recover as quickly as I used to. Yes, I know that is a cliche’. Despite my various efforts which included eating ALL the food, hydrating and keeping the TV volume way down, I still had a tough day. I even went back to bed for an hour while the children were at Sunday School but as karma would have it, I couldn’t sleep – must be the ‘mom guilt’ again! Disgusting behaviour from a “grown-up”.

7. The animals have not escaped unscathed either. The fat cat has been vomiting all weekend – this might be due to hunger pangs as there is never enough food. Beautiful! The small one has a cold and will be back at the vet tomorrow. The rescued baby pigeon did not survive and has gone to ‘heaven’. On the bright side – the ringnecks are fine.

“You can’t make this stuff up!” – Mother’s everywhere!


This post was a Featured Post on the #FridayFrolics Linky – 9 June 2017 

 You can check it out here:
R is for Hoppit

This post is linked up to the following linkys: 

Pink Pear Bear
My Petit Canard
One Messy Mama
Rhyming with Wine
Tammymum
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34 thoughts on “A Catalogue Of Weekend Injuries”

  1. What a weekend!! I winced at your black eye story – last week I was playing peekaboo with my daughter, and when I whipped my hands away from my eyes she nutted me in the nose! I was definitely the most surprised one! 😦 #FridayFrolics

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg that is a lot of injuries! Haha sounds like the eldest is the biggest culprit : ) hopefully your eye is feeling better now. The only injury this week so far is when I accidentally bumped my head on the sink counter because I was trying to get Bear out of the bath and he started squiggling all over the place. Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh god I am exhausted just reading it. What a weekend, I blame the kids haha. I have had many a fat lip from child’s head vs my face whilst getting dressed situation. Treacherous business these children. Hope you all have a quieter and safer weekend this week 😃 Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lol…pretty much sounds like my house, except 3 kids, so one extra body to injure! I’m glad not only our kids hang on doors. My toddler now also attempts to scale the inside of the fridge. Heaven help me when that thing comes down on him…. yikes!

    The plate bashing…oh my soul! And you’re braver than me, I’d never chance a hangover with my kids. It just ain’t worth it. Maybe when I’m 40 or 50 I’ll consider it….and I can have my hangover in peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I didn’t want to mention the broken side-table (which they lie on!!!) as my husband hasn’t seen it yet, I know he reads the blog but I don’t think he’ll bother with the comments. Love you my love, just in case.
      In my defence, I didn’t plan the hangover, I actually blame our friends!

      Like

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