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I Saw You Today …

… the mom just like me.

I saw how when you entered the gym your two little girls were arguing, pushing and shoving each other. The elder one rushed through the turnstile and the younger one tried to follow, trying to emulate her sister, or retaliate, only to get smacked in the head by the bar coming up behind her. I saw how your hands were full of kit bags and car keys and entrance cards, you didn’t catch it in time. I saw the guilty but exasperated look on your face.

It happens. It used to happen to me every time we went there until about a month ago. Now my youngest scoots under the turnstiles. It’s nothing you did wrong. They will eventually learn.Β 

I saw you …

Wiping jam of your child’s face as you kissed him goodbye at the door of the classroom at 07.25am. I saw him wince, and I saw the guilt wash over your face. I saw you check you watch.

It happens. I did it the day before. Most days my child is still eating her toast on the way out the door, I did clean her face ten minutes before but it was dirty again by the time we got to school. I too didn’t have baby wipes in my back pocket, I mean, they’re nearly four! FOUR! The guilt – forget it. We ALL do it. The time factor – don’t stress, tomorrow will be better.

I saw you …

I saw your child run out in front of a car at the supermarket this afternoon, and how quick your reaction was in yanking her back. You yanked her back so hard you hurt her arm, she tripped and fell and got mad at you and cried. I saw the guilt and relief wash over your face.

Don’t feel bad!Β It happens. You saved her life! She may be angry at you for making her fall down, but she has no idea what the alternative was. Ignore that angry driver who hooted at you. You did actually catch your child. I know you have tried to teach her how to cross a road a million times before. I know! But guess what? You won that one! Don’t feel bad. You did your job!

I heard you …

Screaming at them. I too don’t understand why they won’t keep their seat-belts on! I know you’re terrified of the harm they could come to. I know the multiple daily fights to get them to ‘obey’ your seat-belt rules are tiring and feel pointless.

At least you’re still trying. The screaming tells me you care. I scream at mine too. It’s our job. What’s the alternative? Let them roam around the moving vehicle? NO! Scream if that’s what works. Scream if they didn’t hear you the first 5 times you talked nicely! Do it! Don’t feel guilty! You’re trying to protect them. You care!

I saw you …

I saw you pull that biscuit out of your over-loaded over-sized unstylish handbag and give it to your crying child to try keep her quiet in the bank queue. I saw the desperation on your face, and the relief for the two minutes it took her to devour it before she started again.

You know what? Yesterday I paid double the accepted price for two bananas at the gym because I was in too much of a rush to feed them a proper lunch between school and their afternoon activities. I felt guilty, knowing I could have bought a whole bunch in the supermarket for the price of two in the gym. But you know what … it filled that hole. It closed that gap. It bought me time between that moment and dinner. That biscuit enabled you to complete the task you needed to get done. Ignore that judgy women tutting behind you, she’s not you, that’s not her crying baby, it’s yours!

What’s my point?

Do what works!

Do what you need to do!

Scream, yank, wipe, feed, shush, and cry.

Whatever you need to do, DO IT!

Only YOU know your child.

Only YOU know what they need.

Only YOU know what he or she has been through and can cope with.

Only YOU.

I see you!

We’re not all judging.

Forget them!

Some of us who see you are admiring, empathising, praying for and sending you positive vibes in the hope that you feel them and cut yourself some slack.

You are doing your best.

Parenting is hard.


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43 thoughts on “I Saw You Today …”

  1. Love, love, love this post! We are all normal and we all do the best things for our kids, even though we are made to feel guilty for it. I am so terrible for getting a biscuit out of my handbag too, and giving it to my child on the way to nursery, so she doesn’t scream and kick all the way there. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love this! It’s good to know that not everyone who is watching is judging and this is a nice reminder for mums!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes πŸ™‚
    Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this, it brought a tear to my eye. My youngest was having a proper tantrum in the half term break while we were out, he was super tired and didn’t want to be in his buggy. We were in a restaurant area of where we had visited, and he was noisy. I didn’t actually mind, I knew he needed to go to sleep so just rocked him, he eventually went to sleep. However a mum of two older kids sat in front just kept turning round staring at me, then her daughter who was maybe about 10 / 11 started too. I wondered if they had ever seen a child cry or if it had happened to her, maybe she had forgotten. Your post made me think that she could have been understanding. The truth is at some stage we have all been there. xx #fortheloveofBLOG

    Like

    1. I’m glad it gave you some sense of peace. I think it’s human nature to stare when there’s something going on, but it’s not all negative judgement. X

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much. I really appreciate your kind words. It was such a real, emotional, observatory post from my heart. I’m glad you like it. It’s akin to your post about your relationship with your partner … I felt every word of that one. Every. Emotion. x

      Like

  4. What an fabulous post. This Is brilliant and I can so relate to most of this the bananas being one of them, Done that way to many times. #Postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s the worst when you think you are being judged but most of the time other mum’s can relate and sympathise just like you are here, what a lovely post. #coolmumclub

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this. As a special needs parent I always feel I’m on the back foot and that everyone else is always judging me. This is a great reminder that we all struggle and that we are all doing the best we can x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There are many many people who do judge, but I’d like to think the majority of us are not. Good moms care. X

      Like

  7. There needs to be a button more powerful than “like” on this. I would “love” it if that was an option. Parenting is hard, and all parents, young and old should remember that and respect us for just doing the best we can. You truly never know what that exasperated mother has dealt with all day when she’s trying to just get one last errand done before going home. You just don’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hear hear!! None of us are ‘perfect’ whatever that may be, and no one has the right to judge! We are all doing what works (and sometimes what doesn’t, but hey at least we’re trying!) #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

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