blogging, Blogs, human rights, Parenting, social media, Writing

Commenting – You really don’t have to!  

We live in a digital world. A world where the internet is a vessel and mode of information sharing that billions of people use daily.

MOST of us also live in a world of ‘free speech’ where we are allowed to voice and share our opinions on a huge range of topics – actually ALL the topics (unless you live in Zimbabwe, N. Korea, or China … to name a few, but I won’t go there today).

Where these two world combine can be a magical, wonderous, motivational, lucrative, educational and inspiring place.

It can also be a sad and scary place filled with fear, bullying, anti-social and religious persecution combined with bigotry and exploitation.

Most of us decent respectful people use the internet socially , to conduct business and to gain knowledge. Most of us respect that fact that everyone has their own opinions and we all live our lives according to what we personally stand for.

If you are still with me, I’m slowly getting to my point.

What I have an issue with is when people don’t agree with what someone writes and they then feel the need to tear that person down. It’s basically an on-line equivalent of ‘picking on’.

Please note, I am not talking about Trump, or Beyoncé, or any other politicians or famous people, although some of them need to be cut a little slack too.

I’m going to share two examples to better explain what I’m talking about.

I recently wrote a sponsored post where I was specifically asked to recommend things to do that fall within a specific budget – cheap or free to be exact. I did it. It was shared on the company’s webpage and across their social media channels. I followed up a few weeks later to see what people’s opinions were on the places I’d recommended, and I will not be doing that again. Whilst most were positive comments, some were … for lack of better words, unkind and uninformed.

The unkind and unnecessary comments were not a personal attack on me, but an attack on the place I’d written about. An attack from people I can bet had NEVER even been there, or who did not read the whole point of the post and assumed the list was exhaustive of everything to do in said place, which it most certainly was not!

Why? Why comment?

If there were errors in the post, fine. If there was blatant false information, also fine. But to comment negatively for the sake of ‘hearing your own voice’. Just keep quiet.

Example 2: A fellow blogger had her post submitted to a well known online Parenting website, had it shared all over the internet, and then the comments started rolling in. The post was about how she had enjoyed not taking her children to a wedding and ONE of her reasons was because she had a few too many drinks.

Now I’m pretty sure she’s older than 21, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t drive home drunk. So legally she didn’t break any laws! The point of the post wasn’t about her alcohol consumption, it was about kids at weddings! Some ‘do-gooder sitting on her self-righteous throne’ who had nothing better to do or say totally ripped into her post about how leaving your kids behind so you can have a few drinks is abhorrent and how “not everyone drinks, you know?”

Why? Why comment?

Two very different examples of perfect times when I do not see the point of sharing your opinion! Neither of them are adding any value. The comments were full of negativity and only really showed their own ignorance and small-mindedness.

I know that they are allowed their opinions, but surely in both these cases they should rather have just clicked the little x at the top of the screen, scrolled down, or just quite literally put their phone down!

Something I constantly tell my children, in the hopes of making sure they don’t turn into a*holes is:

If you have nothing nice to say, just be quiet!

Rant over with for today.


One Messy Mama
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29 thoughts on “Commenting – You really don’t have to!  ”

  1. I can not even tell you the number of insanely assy comments I have had on both my political column and my freelance work. I have had to thicken up my skin big time.

    Thanks for linking up to #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, I would definitely not take my 5 children to a wedding, and yes whether I drink or not, i would definitely let loose…Even with a cup of coffee in hand 🙂 I couldn’t agree more… Why Comment….? If you don’t agree, scroll on by…. As I even have. #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I so agree with this. Those mommy groups are the worst.

    Example: My breast milk is green. Is something wrong?

    I did not breastfeed my last child. I’ve never had green breastmilk. Do I have any place offering up any suggestions? No…I don’t.

    So even though I may want to say: ‘I feel urine is the best thing to feed your kid’, it has nothing to do with the topic at hand. I have nothing nice to say, so I need to move on.

    It’s literally a conscious decision, but I don’t need to have a voice or opinion on everything. It’s the evil of social media!

    PS I have never seen a post about green breastmilk and I do not advocate feeding your child urine EVER.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve had this myself sometimes and I think.. really? I fully understand that people have differentiating opinions but theres no need to be nasty about it.. there is such thing as a healthy debate! I love the way you have written the post too #blogstravaganza

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True. I don’t understand why they concern themselves with topics that they aren’t interested in. 🙄

      Like

    1. That’s true. I don’t think anyone expects everyone to agree with them, but comments that are holding, argumentative or confrontational that have no substance to them really achieve nothing, other than, as you say, tarnish the quality or message of the post.

      Like

  5. Been there, and I can say that I avoid commenting on many issues now because I treat my conversations online just as if I would a conversation in person, we are emotional being and online comments is a dreadful place to get sucked into!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No no, not you. Like I said, it’s also nothing personal, even the comments on my post weren’t personal against me, they were random comments about the place I did a post on.
      X

      Like

  6. Absolutely agree. I think social media allows everyone to feel like their expert or not so expert opinion is needed everywhere. I think sometimes we just needed to be reminded that we can also just not say anything.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I do agree that by putting anything on the internet we have to be prepared for some kind of comment coming our way that not necessarily everyone will be nice about. Heck, recently I had my own situation where someone unfriended me from facebook and instagram because I sent her a very nice private message because she posted a pic of her son driving in their car and his car seat straps were dangerously loose. She’s a new mom and she reacted negatively to me just trying to help and instead of having a discussion with me, she passive aggressively removed me from her life. So don’t put things on there if you can’t handle the response. But I also agree that if you don’t have anything nice to say, or want to attack the person, then just keep on scrolling or close whatever it is that you’re reading. It seems that people these days get off on starting arguments or being nasty to a total stranger on the internet. It’s sick that there’s something people out there who truly spend all of their spare time creating drama which they wouldn’t necessarily ever do to someone’s face. I believe that people should be able to have a disagreement and still keep it civil and polite. SO many parents have chosen to leave their kid with a babysitter or a family member overnight so they can let loose. Is that worthy of them being made to feel like they are horrible people for doing it? Absolutely not! But someone out there is always ready to jump all over the person the moment they share anything publicly. Doesn’t matter if they know them or not. I will sometimes comment if I disagree about something, but I keep it polite and I know to bow out of the discussion if it goes from being adults and keeping things calm, to the other person turning into a pig headed child.

    *rant over*

    Liked by 1 person

  8. [ Smiles ] If comments are enable, the commenter has every right to share his or her opinion about what was posted.

    Now, that does not mean that the commenter has to be impolite. I have often stated that, people can disagree with each other politely.

    If we are civilized people, we should show that we are truly civilized by commenting in a very civilized fashion.

    Liked by 1 person

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