Father’s Day is a big deal for us. But this year we’ll be having Father’s Day when daddy’s away, and I am dreading it.
Father’s Day four years ago was on June 16th. How do I remember that? Because it was the day our youngest daughter was born. To say that I peaked too soon at giving daddy the greatest Father’s Day gift ever is a huge understatement. How do you top that? A baby. The cutest, easiest, most charismatic little hellion you ever did meet … that’s her. The baby, the last child! How do you top giving daddy that ‘gift’?
Short answer … you can’t.
Roll forward four years and we’re about to hit an all-time low on Father’s Day as daddy is away. Not only is he away for Father’s Day, but he will be missing both our daughter’s birthdays as well. Our youngest turns four on Friday, and our eldest turns 6 in the first week in July. Daddy will still be away.
Why is he not with us? Where is he?
He’s studying. He’s working. He’s providing for us.
That said, as a mother … my heart is breaking for them. All of them, for him and for the girls.
For my husband, missing their birthdays is very upsetting. And for them, to miss spending the one day of the year when we’re supposed to shower daddy with thanks, love and appreciation. Instead, he will spend it studying, working, alone (okay, not exactly alone, but with colleagues. Not with family).
For the girls, my heart is breaking because their actual birthdays are going to be quiet. A little less fun, a little less exciting because their daddy, their hero, won’t be with them, loving them, squeezing them and spoiling them.
How do you even celebrate Father’s Day when Daddy’s away?
How do you celebrate these very special days when 1/4 of our little family is missing?
Short answer … I don’t know.
What I do know is that I need to snap out of ‘it’ and do something extra special to try to make it up to them all, not that I actually can.
Focus on what I can control
Unfortunately, I’m the queen of procrastination. I did some present shopping this morning for my youngest’s birthday – she wanted lots of different collectables so I got her a few of each (Hatchimals Colleggtibles, Shopkins, Tsum Tsums etc), plus a few other things like Barbies, make-up etc – she’s a real little girly girl. Plus one token gift for my eldest who can’t grasp or deal with the fact that her baby sister’s birthday is before her’s! I mean, what if she (the younger one) catches up? What if she overtakes her? OMG!
I’ve also booked the party. I am such a bad mom – I really loathe kids birthday parties! It’s even worse this year, cos I have to ‘do it’ all on my own, but I have managed to convince them that they can have separate parties, at the same venue on the same day. Phew! At least I don’t have to throw two parties with all the same people! #winning at motherhood!
Fortunately we live in the digital age, so the plan is to make sure daddy is available to join in the birthday present opening via Skype. Whilst he won’t physically get to be with them, this is really the best alternative.
Father’s Day is another story.
I’m not going to be able to get anything to him, and so I think the best plan is to postpone it. The next time we get to see him is in mid-July when we meet up with him in East London (soon to be our new home) and we will get to do something special as a family with him.
Now I just have to convince the kids that this is a good plan. Wish me luck.
Dad’s Are Superheroes
On a more serious note, let’s take a moment to think about all the dad’s who won’t be able to spend ‘Father’s Day’ with their kids (my own included). And all the kids, who won’t get to spend it with their dads. There is an enumerate number of reasons why this would be the case. Ours is just one example.
So to all the Fly-In-Fly-Out dads, all the Military dads, all the estranged dads, all the expat dads, all the single dads who’s weekend it isn’t, all the dad’s who work away, and all the dad’s in Heaven … Happy Father’s Day. It won’t be the same, but we’ll celebrate you anyway, Father’s Day When Daddy’s Away can be a new thing!
Thank you for all you do. Thank you for all you are.
You are appreciated.
You are loved.