When I was a little girl, I can remember thinking that to be married and have children must be the best thing you could ever have, if you can achieve that, your life will be perfect.
I have ‘achieved’ that, and my life is pretty perfect. I’m very blessed.
But … I want so much more for my daughters. My husband and I BOTH want more for our daughters than what I (as a woman) have.
Don’t get me wrong, I want them to find a man who loves them, cares for them, treats them with respect. I want them to experience the wonder of having children, there truly are no words to adequately describe the joy of being a parent.
But we want more for them, and we tell them so at every opportunity. Call it brainwashing if you like, but here is our list:
- A good education, ending in a degree in any field they choose. Once they have achieved that I don’t care if they never use it again a day in their lives, but they will have it and we will help them achieve that.
- They must travel the world. I want them to experience different cultures, respect different people and realise that the possibilities and opportunities are endless. If they come back home to where they grew up, bonus … but we want them to be educated and mature enough to CHOOSE.
- We want them to be independent, to never have to wait for a man to come and ‘save’ them from life, to be able to be an equal shareholder and provider to their relationship when she meets someone worthy enough. (Don’t worry, my husband knows what I mean and agrees with me 100%!)
Once they have those three things, then they can get married (or not), and have babies.
My eldest daughter is five and a half. She has recently started saying things like: “When I grow up I want to be just like you mommy”; or “When I’m a mommy I’m going to have 3 babies – how many do you think I should have mommy?” She even thinks about the names she would call them.
This terrifies me. I desperately don’t want her to be like me … I want more for her. I want her to have her own successful career as well as all the other things. I want her to know that girls can have it all. Or not, but they should at least be able to choose what they want.
The key to achieving more, in my opinion, is education! She must have a good education. Without that, she won’t be able to achieve all the great things I know she is capable of.
And confidence. I want them to have the confidence to believe that they can achieve anything they set their minds to.