My Self-Worth

Maintaining My Own Self Worth

I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted by constantly having to keep up the inner monologue required to maintain my own self worth. It seems to be a constant uphill struggle.

As a teenager my mom used to be quite harsh with me about this, on a fairly regular basis. Her intention was only ever to help me, something which I realised even back then! I can hear her voice in my head even now, in fact I hear it every single day, and let me tell you, that is a good thing.

“Stand up for yourself, my girl.”

“Don’t let people walk all over you.”

“Don’t be a doormat!”

Standing Up For Myself

I am someone who has been constantly plagued by self-doubt and crippled by my own inability to make a decision for most of my life. This is mostly based on my own lack of self-confidence. Some days, repeating this mantra to myself on a daily basis is sometimes all I have left between standing up for myself and allowing others to walk all over me.

Is It My Fault?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s my own fault that people underestimate me. I’m not into bragging, I’m not into talking about my achievements, and I’m not into the whole ‘people pleasing’ thing either. I am also not the type to dominate a social setting, and actually, I have a very forgettable face, apparently.

Can I Help It?

As I child I was terribly shy. Scared of being laughed at, picked on, made to talk in public. I learnt how to master those emotions, and to force myself to push past them, but just because I learnt how to master it, doesn’t mean I  don’t still feel it.

A prime example of this is that I still hate walking into a crowded room first! I prefer to walk in after my husband, and I don’t care at all if  that is considered to be lacking in etiquette or some kind of old fashioned bad manners, and it’s got nothing to do with feminism.

How To Put A Value On You

I also find it very hard to ask people for money. This is becoming more of an issue as my blog is starting to monetize and my editing business is taking off. It isn’t a big problem yet but there are more and more opportunities coming along every week, which is great, but there are so many voices in my head that are quite literally exhausting as well:

  • “Don’t work for free.”
  • “Know your worth.”
  • “What is an hour of your time worth?”
  • “Don’t let them take advantage of you.”
  • “Don’t give away free information.”
  • “Bloggers must unite against free advertising.”

I don’t know about you, but it’s all making me very confused and exhausted.

The Reality

I am working on a small freelance business plan. It’s the first thing I’m excited about for myself in a very long time, and it’s all thanks to the lessons I’ve learnt through my blog, and as a freelance editor, writer and proofreader.

I’m excited about it, I think it could work, but the internal struggle I am having with myself is:

“How do I know if I’m worth it?”

“What if I think I’m worth more than I am?”

“What happens if I fail?”


I’m old enough and mature enough to know that if I don’t try I will never know. That said, I’m also old enough to be more cautious than I would have been ten years ago! Throwing caution to the wind has never really ended well for me!

My Self-Worth As A Mother

In the same vein as this, I also have a huge list of things I constantly feel like I have to remember in order to maintain my self-worth as a mother:

  • “Just because I don’t work, doesn’t mean my contribution isn’t worthy.”
  • “Providing money is not more valuable than time and sacrifice.”
  • “Being a SAHM doesn’t mean I’m intellectually inferior to Working Moms.”
  • “Just because I don’t have a degree doesn’t mean someone who does is a more worthy person than I am.”
  • “Just because I spent an hour playing ‘dollies’ with my four-year old doesn’t mean I can’t possibly grasp the complex political problems facing the world today.”

And So …

With all these things we have to constantly remind ourselves of, all day, every day, at some point am I allowed to be exhausted by it and want to just stop?

Am I allowed to just … be?

Is that in itself another self-doubting deliberation I need to have with myself to once again remind myself that I’m allowed to feel like that?

Am I allowed to admit it all exhausts me?

It does. I am.



  1. My kids have taught me there is no praise like self praise. I have taught them to not praise themselves to others. Hard work is exhausting, but rarely does it kill you (like John Henry). However, it is extremely rewarding to see the bounty of hard work.

  2. one of my favourite posts. I think you hit the nail on the head with the struggle of putting a value to your worth and I guess trying to juggle being the SAHM who also has a great blog and whose editing business is taking off. You really do not give yourself enough credit. My husband struggles with social anxiety so I take my hat off to anyone who is able to enter that room, do that speech because it is only now do I realise how exhausting and brave it is.

  3. I love how consistent you are in your blogging and your posts are always something I look forward to. Self doubt is normal, you’re allowed to just be – thank you for that reminder.

    1. Thank you. Looks like you guys are having an awesome trip! Loving all the family photos. X

  4. Pingback: Am I Even A Woman Anymore? – Mom Of Two Little Girls

  5. Lovely post and hit home very much with me and feel less alone thanks for sharing #Blogstravaganza

    1. I’m glad. Sometimes we feel very alone but something I have realized when I write these “dark” posts is that more people feel like this than we realize. It is normal! ?

  6. This post is my inner monologue, it is totally exhausting. However, looking at your situation from the outside, it’s obvious how much work and dedication you put into what you do – you’re destined to achieve not fail! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    1. Thanks Zoe. You are an inspiration to me, making your blog an income that contributes to your family whilst still being able to spend time at home with your girls. Hopefully I will get there.

  7. You are so hard on yourself. It is okay to stop and smell the roses. Every now and then you will need to stop being the strong person, draw a bath have a little cry or a big one. Emotions and feelings build up and it is okay to release. You are not weak for thinking these things. I love your content and urge you not to give up. I praise you for allowing yourself to put these feelings in the spotlight. You really are creating yourself. I admire you so much.

    1. Thanks Julie Anne. You’re very right. We should cut ourselves some slack every now and then.

  8. I honestly would have never said you were someone like this, so to me this is news. But you are worth it and its okay that its exhausting… it really is because after a break you will be back at it and better than ever! xxx

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