In all the years I dreamed of being a mother, of raising peace loving, respectable, intelligent, kind hearted children. In all those years I never realized that there would be so many other skills required to parent. It’s not something that just anyone can do … you have to have skills!
Here are a few of the skills required to parent children
And if you don’t have them, you either learn them, or you have to give your kids back.
Skill Required: Counting!
Accidentally giving one child more chicken nuggets than the other, means that I would be presenting them with undeniable proof of which child I love more!
Skill Required: Physical agility
I never realised how much of my days I would spend bent over picking stuff up off the floor. The alternative would be NOT picking it up and falling over it, or worse … stepping on it barefoot in the dark!
Skill Required: Masterchef Cooking Ability
Do you realise how much time I spend disguising certain foods as other foods, mostly chicken. We’ve had ‘roast beef
chicken‘, ‘barbecued chicken sausage’, ‘tuna salad chicken‘. You name it … it’s been turned into chicken for dinner! That’s a real skill.
Skill Required: Survival
I never realised how much coffee and wine I would need to drink. Okay, maybe I don’t need the wine, but it sure makes some shitty days less shitty.
Skill Required: Hoarding
I never realised I’d have to become a hoarder; not just of clothing that the eldest has outgrown that the youngest might one day make use of, but also preschool artwork, random photographs that reflect nothing, random ‘gifts’ of stones, feathers, seeds, and other unidentifiable objects.
I think it’s called ‘I love my kids and am proud of them’.
Skill Required: Walking encyclopedia
The unanswerable question of “why?” This is asked by them and you, for the rest of your lives! This is a topic I have discussed in depth more recently: Top 5 Questions all Parents want Answers to … or do we?
Why is the sky blue mummy? – Them
Why are you licking the car windows? – Me
Skill Required: A Love of Animation TV
You will eat, breathe and sleep animation. Some of it you will truly love. However, some animated shows you won’t love, but they will be burned into your brain for all eternity.
There are many more, but those are the ones that spring to mind right now. Let me know if you have any others I should add?