In all the years I dreamed of being a mother, of raising peace loving, respectable, intelligent, kind hearted children. In all those years I never realized that there would be so many other skills required to parent. It’s not something that just anyone can do … you have to have skills!
Here are a few of the skills required to parent children
And if you don’t have them, you either learn them, or you have to give your kids back.
Skill Required: Counting!
Accidentally giving one child more chicken nuggets than the other, means that I would be presenting them with undeniable proof of which child I love more!
Skill Required: Physical agility
I never realised how much of my days I would spend bent over picking stuff up off the floor. The alternative would be NOT picking it up and falling over it, or worse … stepping on it barefoot in the dark!
Skill Required: Masterchef Cooking Ability
Do you realise how much time I spend disguising certain foods as other foods, mostly chicken. We’ve had ‘roast beef chicken‘, ‘barbecued chicken sausage’, ‘tuna salad chicken‘. You name it … it’s been turned into chicken for dinner! That’s a real skill.
Skill Required: Survival
I never realised how much coffee and wine I would need to drink. Okay, maybe I don’t need the wine, but it sure makes some shitty days less shitty.
Skill Required: Hoarding
I never realised I’d have to become a hoarder; not just of clothing that the eldest has outgrown that the youngest might one day make use of, but also preschool artwork, random photographs that reflect nothing, random ‘gifts’ of stones, feathers, seeds, and other unidentifiable objects.
I think it’s called ‘I love my kids and am proud of them’.
Skill Required: Walking encyclopedia
The unanswerable question of “why?” This is asked by them and you, for the rest of your lives! This is a topic I have discussed in depth more recently: Top 5 Questions all Parents want Answers to … or do we?
Why is the sky blue mummy? – Them
Why are you licking the car windows? – Me
Skill Required: A Love of Animation TV
You will eat, breathe and sleep animation. Some of it you will truly love. However, some animated shows you won’t love, but they will be burned into your brain for all eternity.
There are many more, but those are the ones that spring to mind right now. Let me know if you have any others I should add?
Comments
Hahaha this was a fun post!! Especially the part where they all become equally annoying!
My other favourite saying is the one that goes “I love all my kids equally, except the one that sleeps, I love that one more.”
Sure. That’s the best one haha
Totally. I relate!! I did a similar list late last year when I noticed how many skills I had required unknowingly since entering mommyhood. It’s here if you care to take a spin! https://artymommy.com/2016/11/02/my-must-know-how-to-list/
This made me giggle! I only have one, but I still thought #1 (chicken nugget favoritism) was hilarious! 😀 #FamilyFun
It’s really not just with chicken nuggets, it’s literally everything. I actually have to count the grapes so each one gets exactly the same. Same principle applies to whoever gets in the car first – clearly they are more special. It’s exhausting.
Ha ha great list, I’ve never really looked at my skill set since being Mum. Survival is definitely a new skill! I should do tidying the floor a bit more but have a tendency to just make a path through it all!! I’m looking forward to all the questions, we’ll sort of!!
Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky
haha “making a path” love it!
Could not stop laughing. I stepped onto those tiny toys in the Dark, I recite those animated poems when alone, I hoard the artwork and other memories. Here through #familyfun
we turn just about everything into chicken also. I got her to try kielbasa last week by telling her it was fancy hot dog
Okay, what’s that?
Its a type of sausage. Doesn’t taste much like hot dog, but she fell for it.
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That I would read so many books, but none of them aimed at me rather than kids stories! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Ahaha, Yes, I concur, they really do become equally annoying 😉 #FridayFrolics
You’ve got me giggling especially with the first one. #FamilyFun
Hi, reading this made me smile. How knew an accidental chicken nugget is a sign of favouritism #twinklytuesday
I know right? Kids are crazy.
My life is all about the Disney. I drive to work humming soundtracks. I love the comment about you loving one child more if they get an extra chicken nugget! I now have a craving for nuggets and it is only 9am. Thank you for linking to #stayclassymama we hope to see you next week x
Totally not the type of post I was expecting, but love it! I only have one child…but will I really find them both annoying if I have another? LOL #twinklytuesday
Short answer – yes. 🙂
Haha. Thanks for sharing! #globalblogging
Fantastic!!! Hahaha!!! “They will become equally annoying” – Amen to that! 🙂 #globalblogging
Reblogged this on Musings, Mutterings and Mayhem and commented:
Love it!
Thanks G. Hope you and the family are well down under! X
Yes to all of this!!!! Thanks for sharing with #globalblogging
My pleasure x
These are all so true! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Wiping, no-one warned me about all the wiping! #twinklytuesday
I’d have to say patience – some days it is incredibly difficult but if you take a deep breathe and keep calm, it makes the situation better for everyone.
That’s true! I need bigger lungs! lol
My physical agility definitely needs work, I struggle to pick my way through the toys that I refuse to pick up because my back hurts. The counting all the food things also really drives me mad! #itsok
I actually laughed out loud whilst sat watching Daisy doing gym! Thank you for the giggles, it’s all very relatable true! #itsok
Love the counting one. Woe betide us if one gets more than the other – until it comes to vegetables! Although my favourite child changes on a daily (if not hourly) basis. #itsok
The skill to be an olympian multi-tasker – but the more you parent the more you hone your skills here. With time you will be able to do approximately ten things at the one time without even taking a breath! #itsok
Yes!!! Definitely a skill to be honed!
Oh gosh, I can relate to each one of these… especially the “chicken” dishes! #itsok