Our Awkward Love

Her and I … our awkward love. 

My eldest daughter and I are not particularly tactile. We love each other fiercely. We sit next to each other, laugh at the same things and she is basically a mini version of me, even in looks. But we are not cuddlers, snugglers or kissers, nor are we huggers, hand holders or space invaders. The reality is that we are a little awkward in the way we express our love for each other.

We can also be a little socially awkward. We are the kind who awkwardly don’t know if it’s appropriate to give a kiss hello, or a hug, or maybe an air kiss, or maybe even maybe a handshake. Whatever the right answer is, we’ll get it wrong. Think … Chandler from Friends. 

We don’t know if, when you ask “How are you?” the answer you are looking for is:  “Good thanks, and you?” or maybe it’s “My tooth fell out, look … *opens face to display gaps* … and mommy forgot to buy her wine, but we’re going away next Easter …” kind of reply.

Feel free to pity me, these are real examples.

We Get Each Other!

We “get” each other, her and I. Just us, just the two of us. Living here in our awkward world. A world where 75% of the time I will turn up dressed slightly inappropriately – not in a slutty way, more like wearing shorts and a top with flip-flops, instead of a blouse with jeans, sandals and bling.

We Clash!

We also fight like cat and dog. The only time the fighting is worse is when it’s between her and her sister, I’m guessing that’s solely down to my *cough* maturity! ?

I’m Her Mom

No matter how awkward or hard fought our day has been, the night’s still roll round, and I long for them. Not just for the few hours of peace and quiet all parents of young children crave, but because every night, I tuck her in and I lean in and kiss her goodnight.

And every night she wraps her arms tightly around my neck or head, most awkwardly, and she clings for a second, a moment, and I wait for it, long for it and most awkwardly return it even tighter. Just for a moment.

Then I pull away, she lets go, and I say to her “Night my girl, I love you. See you in the morning.”

She replies, “Night mommy, I love you too. See you in the morning.”

It’s our way.

It’s how we are.

My eldest and I.

Love you, my girl. Even if it’s awkward, we get each other. Her and I.

One Messy Mama


  1. I’m not a cuddler or hugger but I do enjoy a sunggle every now and again. If it’s not hot. And if I’m not hungry. And if I’m not sleepy. So really, I guess I don’t like it much at all. #GlobalBlogging

  2. My daughter goes in for a stiff lean towards as a cuddle I myself am an affectionate person. Love love love reading this made me laugh and reflect. Beautiful x

  3. I am the same as you are and I don’t like it. It’s the worst thing in the world meeting new people…are they huggers, hand shakers? Do I have to hug them? One arm or 2? I usually give an awkward smile and just sit down, hugging nobody. With my daughter though, I could see affection didn’t come naturally…the same as I was. So I make a concerted effort to hug her and be affectionate with her. It’s not ideal and not as natural as it is with my hugger sons, but I think she’s learnt. I see her interact with her friends…she tries to go in for a goodbye hug. Even though it was taught to her, she does it. Sometimes I see a friend is over eager with her and she doesn’t know how to respond to that…like…wow you like me this much??? but I think she’ll do a bit better than me.

    Very sweet post! Glad to know I’m not the only freak in the world. lol.

    1. My daughter’s bff always hugs her and she just stands there like an ironing board, taking it but not returning it. lol Makes me laugh.

      1. Oh shame man…poor thing! I believe these things are inherent unfortunately. My mom is the same, though now very affectionate with her grandkids, but never hugged me in her life if memory serves me. She has no idea how to cope with affection.

        My husband and close friend help an intervention with me one day and complained about the quality of my hugs and lack of affection so I’ve been trained to hug them at least properly. lol.

        1. Haha … that is so sweet. My sister is worse than me, like, really bad. She comes across as cold but it’s more about being awkward. ??
          I really just don’t get it when people are overly affectionate.

  4. I loved this!
    sounds like my mom and I , a while back (I was going through a tough time) she was driving and reached out to hold my hand, it was the weirdest, most uncomfortable, sweetest thing ever.
    Now I have this weird situation with my son, he is really socially awkward – growls at people who want to touch his hair, ppl always want to touch his hair – he is not a hugger or a kisser or an any physical contact type of person, except with me and I am really trying to hard to not be the ironing board you mentioned. He comes out of his shell with me, he hugs, he kisses, he snuggles and the awkward me spends the whole time wondering, “isn’t this enough now”

    1. ??? – “isn’t this enough now” – love it. So glad I’m not the only one. So often i feel like I’m letting my girls down by not showing more physical love but the other day my eldest told the youngest to “stop breathing on me” and I just kinda gave up and realize that they will make their own way, just as I did.

  5. You two are just like me!! I am not a hugger. Only with my son. No one else. A random customer at work hugged me and the next time she came in a hid in a cupboard.

    1. I used to use the kids as a shield of sorts when they were small enough to carry around but they are too big now. ?

  6. I love this! Such an awesome post! I am generally affectionate but I am growing out of it if that is even possibly. My eldest used to be needy and huggy all the time, and I found myself being like okay enough now. Now that she is getting bigger I think I miss it. I’m so weird!

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  8. What a lovely, lovely post. Loved reading this and learning more about your relationship with your daughter. Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging

  9. This is such a lovely post. I totally understand your relationship. I think i have this kind of relationship with my eldest son. When it’s good it’s amazing but when it’s bad everyone else better take shelter! Thank you for sharing with #StayClassyMama

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  13. It’s weird because my eldest and I are like this too but my other three are so different and I’m also different with all of them – which puzzles me – I don’t want to be different with each one but then each one is unique! My third is VERY affectionate and it’s a bit more than what I’m comfortable with – hard for her 🙁
    Very sweet post!

  14. Lovely! It’s so special how each child has their unique space in your heart and life…
    My little Blake is so much like me… we’re very affectionate with close people but very protective of our personal space with strangers.
    We have been taught that he must take the lead by putting out his hand for a handshake to greet, then people will be less likely to make him hug and he will be much more comfortable. I wish someone had told me this when I was little.

    1. Author

      I think that is such an important lesson – to not force your kids to be affectionate out of some outdated opinion of showing ‘respect’ to their elders. Let the child choose.

  15. Love this, we all have our different love languages. It’s so beautiful that we can recognize and reciprocate.

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