Never backwards, always forwards. This is our little family “motto”, if you will.
Basically it means that we should always keep moving forward, and not try to go back to where we have been before.
My husband and I have been through so much together, and we constantly question whether we are doing the right thing.
Things Like What?
By that I mean things like:
The girls’ familial wellbeing
We constantly questions ourselves and our decisions about, “Are we living in the right place for them?” Is the quality of our children’s lives the best it can be, taking into consideration their happiness – are we being selfish by living nowhere near any of our family members, or close friends.
Education is important to us. And so we constantly check with ourselves whether we believe that the standard of education they are receiving is adequate. Will it serve them well in the future? Not now, but when they have left formal education.
Our family as a whole: Medical Care
Is the standard of medical care available to us good enough?
If not, can we afford to pay for higher quality medical care?
Work & Employability
My husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. He has a good job but it is very stressful and he works long hours. He is a Civil Engineer by trade, and by that simple fact we have moved a lot. It only takes so long to build a road so when they road is built, it’s time to move on. This situation can’t continue for very long now that the girls are in big school.
Besides that, as a white man in South Africa, his future employment is not guaranteed. Whether you like to accept that fact, or you don’t like reading it, it’s true. We constantly discuss what our options are with regards to this, factoring in things like his age and how much time we have left to be picky. Right now we’re lucky he comes home every day. How will other options affect our family life?
There are so many other things we constantly question about our life and the choices we make. We have come to realize that no matter what we decide to do next, we have come so far, and learned so much that we must never go back.
By “back” I mean that wishing for something we had will never help. We can only move forward and take our experiences with us. Even if we do go back physically to a place we’ve been before, we will forever be different due to the experiences we’ve encountered since we were last there.
I know it’s right to continually check ourselves, to never become complacent.
Some people are not built to stay in one place forever. Sometimes I think that the fact that we have children is the only reason we’re not actual nomads!
We are trying to teach our children that whatever happens, whatever your do, take that experience, learn from it and move forward.
Never be afraid of new experiences and challenges.
So that’s where the motto comes from.
Never Backwards, Always Forwards.
Taking our experiences with us and planning for the best future for our children and their education whilst still trying to maintain a lifestyle that makes us happy.
LIFE UPDATE: 31 December 2018.
Since writing this post, a lot has changed.
We immigrated ‘back’ to the UK in June 2018. We’ve been here 6 months now. Despite going ‘back’ to an area we have been in before, I realise that the words in my post above are truer now than they were when I wrote them.
If you can objectively look at the reasons I stated above, you will be able to understand why we made the heartbreaking decision to leave South Africa and move back to the UK.
- The girls are now in an amazing school that they love and are both doing very well.
- My bonus-daughter of 15 years has come to live with us and is thriving.
- We are receiving good medical care if and when we need it.
- My husband is securely employed without any stress or additional responsibilities above his pay grade.
- We feel safe, and secure 95% of the time.
- We miss our family endlessly, but are blessed with the new opportunities available to us.
Happy New Year and may 2019 bless you and your family. And remember, Never backwards, always forwards. Always strive for better. Always check yourself. Never become complacent.