Based on my 5 year old’s reactions to certain instructions that I give her daily, I can only assume I am a bad mom. Yesterday MY behaviour caused HER to have a breakdown and advise me of all the reasons that I am a bad mom.
Here is her list of grievances which she sobbed at me last night:
I’m a bad mom because …
- I make her come to the table to eat her food. You know, instead of letting her starve because she’s so engrossed in the TV that she didn’t hear me politely call her to the table 10 times. She only reacted when I lost my sh*t, screamed at her and switched the TV off! I’m a bad mom.
- I always make her wear shoes before leaving the house. You know, instead of letting her roam the streets barefoot, and potentially suffer 3rd degree burns under her feet. The African summer is not to be underestimated. Also, mummy has standards … believe it or not. Such a bad mom!
- I insist on brushing her hair. I did suggest that we shave it off, which she wasn’t very please about; there is no in-between.
- I make her bath, instead of letting her sleeping in her own filth.
- I always make her get dressed, Naked is not an option unfortunately – deal with it.
- Due to the fact that I will be the one responsible for her dentist bills in the future, I always make her brush her teeth. I mean, what a b*tch!, right?
- I always make her take her plate to the kitchen after eating. I literally do everything else surely I should just do that too? NOT!
- When it’s 07.30pm I always make her go to bed. Yes, because mummy needs to sit down and recharge before resuming her slave duties tomorrow. Also, if she – the child – is overtired we’ll all want to run away!
Those are the actual grievances she sobbed at me last night.
Guess what, I’m a bad mom. I’m her bad mom, and there is absolutely nothing she can do about it!
How do I survive the guilt? Well to be honest, I self medicate with wine!
Let me know who else is a bad mom and why?
Time I got a job and went back to work I think. Somewhere I’m actually appreciated!