My husband and I have been talking a lot recently, about ‘The Fear’.
Since we met we have made lots of choices in our lives together, and whilst we may have been nervous about the outcome of some of those decisions, as we are getting older ‘the fear’ is becoming harder to ignore.
Nelson Mandela said – May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
So what are the fears that we have now?
Well, when you break it down, most of it is the direct result of being parents of small children. Becoming a parent comes with a whole host of fears that you never needed to consider before:
- the financial responsibility of providing for them
- are they as healthy as possible?
- their well-being
- are we doing our best to ensure they are decent people?
- is the standard of education they are receiving the best we can provide for them?
- are they happy?
That last one is often forgotten. We can push that one aside when making big decisions because we assume that they must be happy, right? They are too young to know anything else therefore they must be happy with their life the way it is, right? So you just push that one aside because in the back of your mind, it’s a given. The older they get though, the less this is true.
If you tick all those off your list, which basically equates to you making sure they are happy, and that you are doing your parental job, then what?
What About Us?
Is it at that point that we’re allowed to ask – what do we want? What will make us happy.
I think so. Just because we are parents, doesn’t mean we don’t also have the right to be happy too.
At what point are we allowed to have ‘dreams’? Are the dreams of parents supposed to be put on hold until our children don’t need us anymore? Will that day ever come?
‘The Fear’ is real, but what you do with it, is up to you.
Never let your fear decide your future.
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