This is a post written to my mum, and I want to say, “I’m sorry mum”.
My mum had two girls, myself and my younger sister. I now have two girls, and as a mother there are certain things you have to put up with. It’s not until you are a mother yourself that you understand just how much your mum did for you. Things that she could only possibly have done because she loves you unconditionally.
So, this is a list of things I want to apologise to my mum for.
I’m sorry for being ridiculous!
I’m sorry for making you take out every single little bug that was floating in the pool before I agreed to get in! I now know that it’s not necessary, they won’t kill me, and that you hated it!
I’m sorry for being unappreciative.
I’m sorry mom, for asking you to do my hair in a certain style, but then furiously ripping it out because it’s not what I asked for!
I now know you were doing your best as a mum and not as a professional hairdresser. I realise that perhaps I didn’t describe it properly. And also that you most likely did not have the time to create a masterpiece in a 6 year old’s hair before school, what with everything else you were doing in that moment.
I’m sorry mum, for being ungrateful.
I’m sorry for being ungrateful for the food you put in front of me because it is not what I wanted right then in the moment.
I now know that you were doing your best and that maybe we didn’t have what I was expecting, or you didn’t have time to do what I wanted. I realise that you were probably trying to ensure we ate a balanced diet of healthy food.
I’m sorry for disrespecting you.
I’m sorry for not taking better care of my school bag, clothes, shoes, etc. I now know that they cost money, money that you worked hard for. And I realise that those things should be treated with care. I know that they should not be dragged through the mud [literally] or flung on the floor, kicked, discarded or lost.
I’m sorry mum, for my lack of understanding
I’m sorry mom, for fighting ‘bedtime’, and all the other practical things that are part of life. I now know that if I don’t go to bed on time, I will wake up grumpy and miserable the next day. When that happens it is the rest of the world, but mostly you who will have to put up with my bad mood which is not fair.
I’m sorry mum, for not understanding the life lessons you were trying to teach me.
I’m sorry for not listening to you when you tried to tell me that the most popular kids in school were also the meanest, with the least depth of character. I now know that you were right, I barely remember their names and their opinion of me then have in no way, shape, or form, affected my life as an adult.
I’m sorry for being a brat!
I’m sorry for telling you that I liked that brand new outfit you bought me, and spent your hard earned money on, and then only wearing it once and declaring it ‘ugly’ or ‘stupid’. I now know that clothes are just clothes. You were providing what we needed. I realise that by being an ungrateful brat I was literally wasting your money and disrespecting you. Again.
I’m sorry for pushing the boundaries!
I’m sorry for not respecting the boundaries you created. I now know you were trying to keep me safe both physically and emotionally. You were not out to ‘cramp my style’ or prevent me from having fun. You were far more aware of the potential dangers than I was even capable of comprehending.
I could go on, but I won’t.
Needless to say the wheel has turned. Now that I am a mother experiencing all of these scenarios with my two little girls it makes me love, respect and appreciate my mother even more than before. Because I didn’t know.
Love you mom. xx
This post also appears on the Happy New Mum website for which I am a contributing author. You can check it out here, and while you’re there, please check out some of the other awesome inspirational and motivating posts by other moms who are trying to make a difference and be supportive of other new mums.
UPDATE 16/02/2017: This post has been featured on Sharing The Blog Love Showcase. Please check it out here and visit the other posts who were featured alongside this one. Thanks to Laura at DearBearAndBeany