There are moments in
life parenting where if you can’t laugh, you will surely cry. Or run away. Or both. Today was one of those days. I’m relieved to say that it’s funny now, but at the time I was tempted to lose my sanity and cry right there in the Virgin Active car park.
Picture The Scene: 1-2-1 Swimming Lessons at the gym.
My youngest throws a tantrum in the pool during her 1-2-1 swimming lesson. Her coach is an ex-rugby player. To see a 6″ something giant swimming coach attempt to keep hold of a slipper 3 year old and eventually give up the fight and lose to ‘the plank’, is quite something to behold! Anyway … we both gave up, and so we left early.
She point blank refuses to change out of her costume and with very little will to live, I decided to let it go. So we just ran to the car with her in her costume and towel. At this point she was still crying. Not because of the swimming lessons that she suddenly decided she didn’t want to go to. Oh no. Now she is screaming for me to give her back her new shoes because she doesn’t care that she is wearing her bathing suit, she only cares that she isn’t wearing her new shoes. All of this is happening IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I sh*t you not!
Count slowly in my head …
I refuse to pander to her ridiculousness. Obviously. Instead I focused on getting us all the way over the road without getting run over. Therefore I am officially the worst mother ever.
Moving on …
We get in the car, and she is still having a major meltdown, so the eldest says to her:
“Stop crying, do you want a new mother? Mommy will leave if you don’t stop crying”!
I think to myself: So her ears do work, my frequent threats did penetrate at some point, only to be ignored?!?!
Unsurprisingly, the threenager screams even louder, wailing like an enraged fish wife!
My eldest clearly can’t take it anymore and says to her sister:
“Why are you still crying? Do you want a new mommy, or should we keep the old OLD mommy? Stop crying!!!”
Not to be a cliche or anything, but has any female ever calmed down, by being told to calm down? NOOOO … case in point, even at that age.
Unsurprisingly, the youngest started wailing even more!
I couldn’t take it anymore. I started laughing … out loud, belly laughing. Honestly, it was funny then, and it’s funny now.
Isn’t that why we have kids, so we can laugh at them?
Thank goodness that happened, I was almost about to run away. And then they would’ve had to get a new mommy!
Kids = Comedy cold, if you have a sense of humour!
But hold on, when did 35 become “old OLD”? It’s funny now